Staff Room Gossip
by RedHal
Summary: Every wonder what goes on in the staff room?  Well, this one-shot covers one day in each year, plus an extra year that's not part of the books.


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Summary: Ever wonder what goes on in the staff room and what the teachers talk about behind closed doors. Well, this is my take. Most are done during the first week of school, but some, like the fourth year, would be a BIT later in the year. Goes through 1991-1998. Would have been eight chapters, but some were just too short so I just did it as a one-shot since each segment is just a brief moment in A day.

Warning:A few characters are OOC

**Staff Room Gossip **

First Year,

McGonagall was grading some homework in the staff room when the door opened to reveal Flitwick.

"Another first week over with" McGonagall told him with a smile

"That's the truth." Flitwick said. "Interesting bunch of first years"

"Yes. Again, a lot of familiar names" she mused. "I still can't believe how seemingly talentless Neville Longbottom is acting"

"I know!" Flitwick mused "Didn't he once team up with the other babies in the playgroup and overpower the Marauders?"

"Best Order of the Phoenix meeting ever" she said. "I felt every prank they pulled was avenged."

"I thought we stopped talking about the Marauders 10 years ago" Sprout said as she entered

"We're just talking about how Mr. Longbottom, at the age of 10 months, overpowered the Marauders" Flitwick said.

"But didn't he have help?" Sprout asked "What do you two think of that Granger girl?"

"It's going to be Lily Evans all over again" Flitwick said "However, that girl HAS to get some friends"

"Well, she seems to be hanging out with the younger Weasley and Potter" McGonagall said. "But it's so obvious that Weasley wants nothing to do with her."

"ANOTHER Weasley" Sprout sighed. "Merlin I hope he's nothing like the twins."

"Perhaps Percy can keep him in line" Flitwick suggested

"We'll see" McGonagall said. "I rarely see him leave Potter's side"

"I wonder how the flying lessons will turn out" Flitwick mused. "Maybe next year Gryffindor will get some descent players"

McGonagall gave him a look that said if she had been MUCH younger she would stick her tongue out at him.

"There's still the chance of Slytherin getting some just as good players. And we all know the only reason they're doing so well is Snape openly plays favorites. Someone should tell that Slytherin that the war is over and he should stop sucking up"

"Good idea Minerva" Sprout said.

"And as Gryffindor is known for bravery, you do it" Flitwick said.

"I'll leave that for Albus" McGonagall said. "The LAST thing I need is for him to target my Gryffindors more than he's doing. And with Potter here… I think we ALL know what's going to happen"

"Oh yeah" Flitwick mused. "Severus HATED James"

"Look… we ALL want to talk about it, so I'm just bringing it up. What do you guys think of Harry Potter?" Sprout asked

"I think I confused those poor first years when I fell off my stool calling roll" Flitwick said. "They probably think I fell off because of his fame. I mean…who else can survive the killing curse?"

"It wasn't?" McGonagall asked

"No. I looked up and I saw James with Lily's eyes looking at me" Flitwick said. "It was like they merged and came back from the dead after de-aging"

"He DOES look like James" Sprout agreed

"But he's Lily" McGonagall said.

"That he is" Flitwick mused. "As the class went on, I realized that he wasn't as studious as Lily had been, but…remember how James used to show off? Not Harry"

"Well, Harry doesn't know a lick of magic except what Hagrid told him" McGonagall explained. "I had him tell me what happened…you know…with my connection to James being his godmother and all."

They nodded knowing what she meant.

"Those muggles told him that James and Lily died in a car crash. James most likely drunk"

"Oh PLEASE!" Sprout exclaimed. "Everyone knows that James Potter only got drunk once and never did it again after Lily filmed the Marauders on the Quidditch pitch…"

She couldn't say it for laughing

"Oh Merlin remember that!" she laughed

"Yeah" McGonagall said. "I considered giving them detention, but all I had to do was confiscate that camera Lily charmed to work on Hogwarts' grounds and threaten to show it to the school come graduation"

"Remember how they got sober?" Flitwick asked while laughing

"The Defense Professor used his ability to use the Imperius curse, though it was suppose to be for show, and sent them to the lake" McGonagall said

"Remember Black's words when he sobered up?" Sprout asked

"'Why the hell are we skinny dipping?'" Flitwick said laughing

"They were lucky it wasn't the full moon" McGonagall said calming down

"Though I wonder what a drunk werewolf would be like" Flitwick mused

The trio laughed at the thought, but McGonagall calmed down faster than the other two.

"Did you two know that Lupin drank for about two months?"

"Really?" Sprout asked. "When?"

"A few months after the Potters were killed" McGonagall said. "He had tried to gain custody of Harry and was denied. He can't even get Harry now that he's older and would know better"

"That's stupid!" Sprout said. "Remus Lupin is one of the most responsible people I know. Even for a Marauder"

"I know. It's his condition" McGonagall said. "Anyways, what do YOU think of Harry Potter?"

"He's James with Lily's personality" Sprout said fondly. "He is the sweetest boy. Always ready to help at a moment's notice and so nervous about everything. Makes me wonder if he would have grown up that way with his parents"

"Maybe not considering James" Flitwick mused

"I don't know" McGonagall said "Lily had James wrapped around her finger and eating out of the palm of her hand. In that short marriage, what Lily said went"

"I still can't believe Black betrayed them" Sprout said quietly "I mean…he and James were the BEST of friends"

"It shocked us all" McGonagall said "But Harry Potter has enough to worry about"

Suddenly the door opened and Snape came storming in muttering something about 'just like his father'

"who are YOU talking about?" Flitwick asked. "Mr. Malfoy"

"No" Snape said grabbing a bottle of Firewhiskey. "Mr. Potter"

The other heads looked confused

"Really?" Flitwick asked. "I see more of Lily than James"

"You can't be serious!" Snape said. "He's mediocre, arrogant, a determined rule-breaker, he's delighted to find himself famous, attention-seeking, impertinent…"

"Are we talking about the same Harry Potter or did you time travel to 1971?" Sprout asked

"Or maybe I should have sent YOU to keep an eye on the Dursleys the day after James and Lily died" McGonagall said

0000

Second year,

McGonagall ran into the staff room and closed the door behind her looking rather out of character. Flitwick looked up from his studying.

"You okay Minerva?" he asked with a chuckle

"I think I lost him" she said. "If I hear one more story out of Gilderoy's mouth…I'll…"

The door jiggled and there was a knock

"Who is it?" she asked

"It's me" Sprout's voice came

McGonagall let the Hufflepuff in

Lockhart's going to try to write another book, so he's going to be staying in his office" Sprout said

"I don't know whether to be relieved or disgusted." McGonagall said. "I don't know how Severus did it"

"did what?" Flitwick asked

"Manage to put Lockhart's profile on Harry Potter!" McGonagall said. "Though now I do have to admit he was right about the rule breaking"

"You never did tell us about that" Sprout said.

"It was the day after finals. You two remember? How beautiful it was? Well, I was carrying some books back to the library that I had used for references and Potter, Weasley, and Granger come running up to me demanding I tell them where Dumbledore was. I told them the truth that he was summoned to the Ministry and the next thing I knew, Potter was telling me that someone was going to steal the Philosopher's Stone!"

"It's true then" Flitwick said after a few moments of silence. "You CAN'T keep a secret here!"

"Dumbledore'll have to tell you the details" McGonagall said

"Speaking of Potter and Weasley," Sprout said. "What do you two REALLY think about their entrance?"

"Not even James Potter and Sirius Black would have done something THAT stupid" McGonagall answered

"I found it quite creative" Flitwick said. "Though I have to admit…stealing a car is almost…Slytherinish"

The two witches laughed. Flitwick was shocked. He'd have thought Minerva would have taken offense

"If Severus heard you call Potter a Slytherin, he'd have your head." Sprout explained the humor

Suddenly, the door opened and slammed as Snape came in looking angry

"What happened to you?" Sprout asked

"Dumbledore said I couldn't poison Lockhart"

The other three heads snapped their fingers as if disappointed

0000

Third year,

"Well," Sprout said coming into the staff room to find McGonagall and Flitwick. "Snape won't be joining us in here for a while"

"Why?" Flitwick asked

"Didn't you hear?" McGonagall asked. "The third year Gryffindors had their first Defense lesson in here. Boggarts. Mr. Longbottom's turned into Severus and he made the boggart dress as Augusta Longbottom"

"It's all over the school!" Sprout said

"Brilliant. Though we ARE talking about Mr. Lupin"

"Is that what you guys do in here?" Remus Lupin asked as he appeared in the doorway. "Talk about the other professors?"

"Heavens no!" Sprout said. "We talk about the students too. Come join us"

Remus shrugged and joined them. He sighed as he looked around

"You wouldn't BELIEVE how many times we tried to get in here"

"Enough chit-chat" Flitwick said. "So Lupin…what do you think of Harry now that he's older?"

"He's different than I expected" Remus said "A lot thinner than I hoped. But…he has really good friends and he seems to be enjoying Hogwarts"

"But personality wise?" McGonagall asked

"It's Lily" Remus said before leaning back in the armchair he was sitting in and sighing. "Whenever I see him in passing, I want to call out 'James' or 'Prongs' but I catch myself. I'm still not used to it. Not even after 12 years"

"Why DID you call James 'Prongs'?" McGonagall asked

"Remember that antler incident back in the fourth year?" Remus asked

"That would do it" Flitwick said "So what do you guys think about Black getting out?"

"I don't know how he did it" Sprout said. "Lupin? You were once his friend. Any ideas?"

"No. I THOUGHT I was his friend" Remus sighed

"I can't believe Black would go after Harry though" McGonagall sighed. "I mean…looking back…he LOVED Harry!"

"Let's change the subject" Flitwick said seeing Remus looking pained. "How the hell is Miss Granger in my class as well as Arithmancy?"

"time turner" McGonagall explained. "She got permission from Dumbledore"

"That girl is going to overwork herself" Flitwick sighed

"Not even Lily did that" Remus said sadly

0000

Fourth year

"I can't believe the Tri-Wizard Tournament is coming HERE!" Flitwick exclaimed.

"I can't believe that you sound like Father Christmas just wrote to you saying that he's coming early and will be arriving in person" Snape said

"You know Severus. Someone has to say it" Sprout said. "When the hell are you going to get that wand out of your…"

What she said had everyone looking in her direction

"I second that" Vector said

Snape turned his evil glare to Vector who quickly went back to grading papers

"Did you hear what Moody's teaching the FOURTH years?" Sprout asked

"What?" McGonagall asked

"The unforgivables. He's showing them on spiders"

"Poor Neville" McGonagall said sadly as she thought about Frank and Alice. Due to a student/teacher session, Neville told her that he can remember the attack vaguely. It reminded her of what Lupin told her Harry had said about hearing Lily's death and once James' To see the curse that caused the tortured screams of the two people he loved most…

Then she remembered another fourth year student who's life was changed by an unforgivable

"Poor Harry!" she added

"Please" Snape said.

"Severus!" McGonagall said. "Harry hears Lily's murder when he's near dementors. Now he's seen the curse that killed her and James"

"Well," Snape said. "I have to get ready for the seventh years"

He left and the three heads leaned forward

"did you hear what Moody did to Malfoy?" Flitwick asked eagerly

"Heard?" McGonagall said. "I SAW. I was the one who changed Mr. Malfoy back"

"Why?" every teacher in the room groaned

"As much as I think that little brat deserved it, the rules state we can't use transfiguration as a punishment. Besides… that was an insult to ferrets everywhere. There are better animals. Like flies or pigs."

0000

Fifth year,

Flitwick and Sprout were comparing notes about first years when McGonagall came in looking VERY tense

"Have I mentioned how much I HATE Delores Umbridge?" she asked through gritted teeth

"You might have" Sprout agreed

"I swear if I have to hear her clear her throat again…if it wasn't for my Gryffindors, I'd leave"

"I have it!" Flitwick said. "We grab out best students, smuggle them out of the country, and start our OWN school. Minerva. You can be headmistress as you're deputy head as it is"

"As flattering as you wanting me to be in charge and as tempting as that offer is…we can't. Not with You-Know-Who back"

"Then we'll take Potter with us!" Sprout said.

"And what do you think that would do to Black?"

"We'll bring him!" Flitwick said "He can be our guard dog. His form looks like a grim"

"I STILL can't believe they were animagi all this time" Sprout sighed.

"You've been saying that for a full year now" McGonagall told her. "Ugh! If Umbridge wasn't watched, I'd train Potter in animagi. It's easier if a parent was one you know"

0000

Sixth year

"What do you think happened to Albus' hand?" McGonagall asked

"Looked poisoned" Sprout said "I have a BAD feeling about this year"

"Why?" Flitwick asked "Snape's now the Defense Professor and he STILL hadn't gotten that wand of his out of his arse?"

"Look at it this way" McGonagall said. "No Defense Professor lasted more than a year. Now, as much as I respect Severus Snape as a Potions Master, his blatant favoritism has spoiled the Slytherins"

"You're right" Sprout said. "What do you two think about Slughorn coming back?"

"I'd like to know how he did it" Flitwick said

"How who did what?" a voice asked

Everyone looked up to see Slughorn

"Ah. I see you still keep the tradition of the first week gossip." Slughorn said. "Good times"

"Tell me Horace" Flitwick said. "How on EARTH did Dumbledore get you out of retirement."

"He siced Potter on me" Slughorn said. "I wanted the chance to teach the boy as I taught James and Lily"

"What do you think of him?" McGonagall asked

"He has James' looks, but Lily's personality. I'm still trying to decide on brains. Right now, his intelligence is like James' but that could be because Severus was being a bit biased"

"Thank you!" Flitwick exclaimed. "SOMEONE who understands"

0000

Seventh year

It was quiet in the staff room as it was just Flitwick, Sprout, and McGonagall. Flitwick did a charm on the door and they shifted as if to relax a bit

"I can't believe Albus is dead and his murderer is the headmaster" Sprout said. "That job should have gone to you Minerva"

She merely shrugged.

"You're worried about Potter aren't you?" Flitwick said gently to the Transfiguration teacher

She nodded.

"Face it guys" she said with a sigh. "Truthfully, these past few years, who has been your favorite student school-wide?"

"Potter" they admitted.

"James' looks, James' charm, Lily's eyes, Lily's personality…" Sprout sighed. "Miss. Weasley had been a very lucky girl until Albus died"

"I heard he broke up with her because of Voldemort" Flitwick said. "So…that brings us to wonder…what about after he kills Voldemort?"

"I think he'll get back with her if they both survive this" McGonagall said. "The happiest I saw him was when he was with her when they were an item"

"so what are we going to do?" Sprout asked

"We are going to do what Dumbledore wanted us to do" McGonagall said. "Protect the students at all cost"

There was a moment of silence.

"I wonder what Dumbledore asked Harry to do" Flitwick mused

0000

The next year,

"Headmistress McGonagall!" Flitwick and Sprout exclaimed

"C'mon guys" she said. "It's tradition!"

They smiled and made room for her on the couch

"It's over now" Flitwick said. "You know… I would have thought those three would have bolted out."

"Harry talked to me before school started" McGonagall explained "He said that he, Ron, and Hermione wanted to redo their seventh year since they were 'Horcrux hunting' last year"

"Ron Weasley and an extra year of school?" Sprout asked. "He seemed a bit reluctant when I saw him."

"Apparently," McGonagall said. "Hermione was the one who wanted to redo the year and she talked Harry into it by using Ginny as an excuse. Not wanting to be left by his friends, Ron joined them reluctantly"

"So Harry and Ginny are an item again?" Flitwick asked

Suddenly the door opened to reveal the two in question. Poor Harry went pale and closed the door. Flitwick did a small spell on the door

"That SO wasn't a broom closet" Harry's voice came

"I'd say they are" McGonagall said "He deserves this"

"We all do after these past 7 years" Sprout said "At least all is well"

The End


End file.
